I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Pooping to opera.
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