it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
