Whod you bang
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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