As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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