dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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