That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
