I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
