bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
