You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
