Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
