It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
