my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
