if i died would you start the facebook group?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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