on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
