So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
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If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
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It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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