margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
