Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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