where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
