I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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