Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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