So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize