Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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