I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
