I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
