i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
