Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
