problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
