no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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