STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
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I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
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BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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