she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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