dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
