Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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