And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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