Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
