Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
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You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
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Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here