Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died