We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.