i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek