Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

Should I have kids to fix a relationship??

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(313): View more from Michigan

so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.

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(858): View more from California

Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere

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(269): View more from Michigan

He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(801): View more from Utah

please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.

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(408): View more from California

im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.

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(626): View more from California

and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina

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(+04): View more from

Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died

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