Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
These tits shall not be calmed
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
