it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
