She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
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I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
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I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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