I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
apparently the secret to your success is patron
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
