whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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