my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
