handjob tips. give me some.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Dicks are not precious.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
