we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
