I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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