I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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