Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
