ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
