no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
