i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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