Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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