Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he thought i was a dude.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
