vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
