I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
