We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
