What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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