If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
