I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize