If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
