Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
