it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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