You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I think I sprained my soul last night
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
